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Wotcher' Been Readin? April, 2022

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Another episode of our bonus pre-show Wotcher' Been Reading? wherein we discuss:

The Books of Jacob by Olga Tokarczuk

The Mortal Instruments seriesby Cassandra Clare

The Northern Lights by Philip Pullman

and then an extended bonus section about all the crazy shit that happens in Stephen King's Dark Tower series.

Hey, there, and welcome to another bonus episode of what you've been reading, which is where Alice and I, when we warm up to record episodes, to ask each other what we've been reading and have a bit of a chat. Put the first one of these out in January. I don't remember then whether I said it was going to be a patreon thing or not, but I think that's what I'm going to do now. So I'm putting this second one out just because we haven't been regular with the episodes recently. But then I think after this these will be just a little bonus for the people who support us on Patreon. Are Speaking of which I have just finally retoiled the patreon page. It's no longer called Dr Prometheus. I left update or the links in the episode, descriptions and things, but it's now much easy to find its patreoncom unseen academicals and I've changed the tears. So what we have there now is for the people who have already supported the hiw on Patreon, which there's a handful of you, nothing is changing for them. They will keep getting all the bonus episodes like this and the longest stuff like the one we did on Neil gaming and things like that. They will get access to everything we do. Nothing changes for them, including the price. Sorry, before it was six dollars, six or straining dollars a month to support us and get and get all of this stuff. That is staying the same. For I think it's the six people who've supported the podcast so far and it's first year, so I've created a limited tier for that, which is those six people. And just because it's discworld and we talked about the significance of eight in the early books, there are eight spots available for this tier, which, as gets you everything for six Australian dollars. What I've then done is the regular tier, which gets you all the same things, but it's unlimited. Anyone can sign up and support. It is now ten dollars, but that's still Australian dollars, so it's probably cheaper for people who are overseas be at. The cheaper tier is limited to the people who have supported US originally to reward them for their support and also, yes, because of the discord eight thing. There are eight spots. I think six of those a field right now, which means there are two open at the cheaper tier. If you've thought about signing up and supporting the PODCAST, you might want to get in and get those last two spots. If one of our supporters cancels their patreon subscription or whatever, those spots will open. So it's just a matter of if there's one open, you can sign up for a once there are eight people in that tier, it's full. No one else can get it at the lower price. But I think the ten dollars, which again is Australian dollars, is reasonable for the amount of research and effort that goes into this. The bonus episode. Things aren't going to be regular, they're just going to be when we have time to do them. What is going to be regular? Is this what you've been reading? So there's preach of the character jumping off the shelf. What is going to be regular? What are going to be regular? Are these what you've been reading? So yes, if you do sign up to the Patreon, you will get access to these going forward. And the hint with these is because we do them as a warm up. Every time you get one of these, you know we have actually recorded and a new episode. So yes, we've recorded the first half of the more episode. It's not going to be a two part of we just had to break the recording into two parts because we were getting tired and going along. So we've recorded the first part of that and then we're recording the second part this afternoon and then it will be up as soon as I have time to edit it. Yeah, but if you're on the PATREON and you get one of these, that means maybe we've recorded a new episode and that shouldn't be too far away. Yeah, putting this one up just as a little baronus since we've been a regular and also I think this is kind of a fun one because we play a little game with Stephen King's dark tell series at the end. So, yeah, I thought this was a fun one to put out there, but from now on these will be on Patreon. Ali, thanks again for your support and yeah, we'll get the more episode up soon. That was I want to know what you've been reading. You'RE gonna laugh. I'm reading a nine hundred page novel. fucking help, I mean I just read recently on I read, I asked You, but recently I have read both. I've been on a Stephen King kick, as you're aware, and I recently read the stand and it, which are both over that Chunky here, like fourteen hundred pages or something. But I also they were audiobooks. But Stephen King books have not short so I can actually sympathize with your nine hundred page experience. What with? Which nine hundred page book are you reading? It's called the books of Jacob. It's...

...up for the man book a prize and it's meant to be very good and it's like all about protestantism in Poland. So it's heavy stuff, but I'm having a good time. Before that I've read a very interesting book called Alexandria, about this dude who was like the first Westerner and Afghanistan and like found a bunch of cool stuff looking for Alexander's lost cities. And you don't read nonfiction, but I was like, Josh would like this anyway. I think I read a lot of non fiction preparation podcast of not nonfiction stories. I tend to yeah, really my thing. I read. I bought a biography on on Henry the third yesterday. That's thousand pages long and I am excited. That shit gets me going. Is that your Henry the third biography or you just happy to see me? kind of it's only six inches but it's thick case. Also sitting as this is the Pratchett podcast, Pratchett things in the new Harry Potter movie, which is terrible. Oh It's actually our oh yeah, and I only went because friends wanted to go and I was like, yeah, this might be fun. It wasn't even fun. Wasn't even fun. The suitcase nudes, commander suitcase which he carries around, which has like his whole animals in it. At one point it's sprouts a bunch of legs and runs away. Oh, but I was like, are you even aware of what you're doing? Is this just a similar cor now, like, well, now that's a pretty specific one. You reckon. Yeah, you're again. Name something else where there's a where there's a thing with a bunch of legs that runs away. But part of me was like, is this not just a fantasy trope? Now that you're like the suitcase needs to get away in this until you've just given a leg, super unaway, specific thing on a bunch of legs. All right, it sounds. was like, I'll let josh decide, but part of me are moving furniture. No, but that specific at example, I would say it's definitely K yeah, inspired. So that was in there. Do you want the one? What was the first one you mentioned, the nine hundred one. You were saying looks of Jacob. Yeah, did you want to talk more about that? Or it was? God, no, no one will be interested. That's interests of this this whole people are interested now. It's yeah, it's the rise of protestantism in Poland and, like all of these people's lives overlapping, and I'm not far enough in yet. I'm like two hundred something pages in. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, but and I don't have time to read Um. Honestly, it's America. I've got that far and there's this just this huge stack growing on my bedsday table, currently the the man Booker Prize. I did have a look and I went yeah, none of these sound interest no, yeah, I do have on my like to read list sitting there is their freakin starting Bagdad. That was nominated last year, wasn't it you? So I read it. Thanks. So I have to know. I know, I know you do, and Ron read it and Peter Otto read it and I think it's the translation. Obviously the ruins it, but God damn it is hard to enjoy. Let's just say I'm interesting from putting it off just because it's kind of a bummer and I'm like read about like thesessed cars and shit. Instead, I've read, you know, so I did like fifty or sixty vampire books and counting. I'll start done with them. But in between there I've now read thirty Stephen King Books. That's too many. Twenty two and twenty five of those within the last three or four months. I need to hang on, I need to drop in. I just finished under the Dome because I've got a ranked list going on that will become its own burnus podcast at some point. I'm trying to work out where under the Dome Goes, which I think was two thousand or two thousand and ten, currently the Thirteen Best Stephen King Wook. It's a bit of a sneak Pake. Yes, I won't talk about Stephen King or vampire books, which I continue to read because, as I do, want to make them their own things. But I've read a lot. I mean, I did tell you about that one that was worse than twilight till I want to put that on record, and worse than twilight. Yeah, the one I messaged you about. Ah Fuck that. I want to record that. I'll save that for the my actual vampire books. I'm going to go through and talk about them all just by myself. You don't have to be involved. But yeah, and also I'm sitting on the recording of UK mover months ago now when I was first starting to Stephen King thing, and we did we played the game of which of these six things do not happen again the...

...dark tower series? So I will that has some spoilers and stuff in it, so I will apend that to the end of this podcast. So if people want to listen and just hear how crazy that series gets, leave that there. So, apart from Stephen King and Vampires, I've been brushing up on some holes in my young adult knowledge. I don't know, I'm what I've discussed with you, but I do want to get a bit of it here. So, as part of the vampire thing, I read the the model instrument series. That, Oh God, that is the correct response. But when I when I started it and I begins with a excerpt from paradise lost, I was like, Oh okay, but I didn't know, like this is a very interesting to be and like I have been groomed. Well, speaking of grooming, we discuss the fucking interest thing, alice, which is, yeah, I know, man academic interest in. You know, you were doing some stuff, tracing it to barn and yeah, but I think, like this is just insane. She's just it's a lot. So yeah, yeah, the whole thing. For people who don't know, there's like angels and demons and then it's a young adult romance thing, but it's her brother that is the love interest. I can remember in the end. Is he the brother? Is He not? Well, at the end the Agaya on trilogy that he's. Yeah, it goes so it starts, they don't know, they kiss and then they like all know, it's your brother and it's like star wars and they say, Oh, this is like star wars, because what I discovered is the second modelature book is ready play at one for God shit, I think it's not even just all the references, the way it's written. It's like yes, that is a a quotation from a poem in paradise lost, and then Oh, you kissed your brother. That is like the film Star Wars. So I reference Star Wars and say it's weird you kissed your brother and then he's the villain for first of that sort, because it's like he's on the bad guy side for whatever. And then he last name is morning star, like yeah, so he's on the the bad guys too, but he is the like the reasonable one where he's like, Oh, well, I found out where related, so I guess you know, I we should not pursue this relationship. And she's like yeah, but it felt good. Yeah, and he's like it's like yes, but also I'm your brother. I didn't know that then. I know that now. Therefore got for sure ever romantic relationship with you. And then there's like evil days turns up, like there's a second I don't know. It's a big in the first thing, because there's like for try, how many did you read? Just the first three, and I am not going to I've read the first six plus the other I'm adding myself. I was a child, folks, a child, I didn't know good books existed. Yeah, I read the first six and then the ones that are said in Victorian in London, which I still think about sometimes. The the first one I thought was okay, like it wasn't great, but, as you know, young adult fantasy books. Girls like this is an okay version of that. The second one, which is where all the vampire shit kicks in, Simon, that's yeah, that's where it gets very ready play a one E and I did not particularly enjoy that one. But the third one is genuinely one of the worst books I've ever read. Firstly, isn't it, as the wall doesn't happen, that she's not allowed to fight in and that's the one where she's just pursuing this guy being like yeah, but hook up with me, you know you're my brother. And then, yeah, it's absolved at the end because it's like our turned out he wasn't a brother, so you know he was actually adopted or some shit. So therefore, terrible books, terrible. She's absolved, but then you say because I you know, I knew it was. He goes back and forth again in the next like three I don't look. The best character is magnus and he has he down spin off which I haven't read. Copied that good now, because I messaged you. I was like when it happened, I was like, I'll surprise, he's not her brother and everything's okay, and you like, oh, but it's gonna keep going for like eight world books, like and forth. Yeah, so, yeah, she definitely bang her brother, right, that's all. Heck, yeah, we're were coming down that one. So that was that was one experience. That was part of my my vampire, you know, research thing, but not. So. Did you need that? Was that helpful for all? I think it was. Because, all right, yeah, I think that's one where he is a gittarian that is turned into...

...a vampire rather than because he goes the institute, aren't? Yeah, okay, Some think not worth while. So this is the other, the other whole life. Want to use the ex pedaphorce. I was just looking for, you know, some lightlight stuff to listen to, something to listen to you while I'm going to sleep, to distract me and things and you know. So don't want to listen to these vampire books or these intents, like Stephen King Books and stuff that I'm actually investing. I just needed something like I was like, uh, let's Philip pullman. Guy Keeps coming up in all the fantasy literature, especially in relation to Terry Pratcher. Right, it's somehow when in the there what are they called? What's the series called? Is Dark material is dark material series. Somehow that gets spoken of in the three that always get mentioned. I Harry Potter at see and his dark materials. I'm like, how did he dark materials? Who is his stock materials publicist? Like getting him on the top billing with Harry Potter and it's see and all the fantasy criticism. But all right, I was like, okay, and apparently you know it's all about animals and things, and so I was like, all right, that might be a fun one to listen to. You know, I gave up halfway through the first book. There it is, there it is so for it anyway. It's what's so bad. It's really poorly written. But yeah, open it up. First Page, except from John Milton's Paradise Lost in children's literature. Like nobody gets that. It's just the author being like who, like, it's just dumb. Well, apparently you know the whole book is about the enlightenment versus. It's bad, it's bad, bad. I went back to them at the start of my phd like Oh, there's something here, and same thing. I gave up was terrible. I don't want to read that again. And then my person, who's if they say they like a book, I'm like I will not like this book, was like, Oh, that's my favorite series ever and I'm like never mind. Like you know, even I think the audiobook layers in the motor books on like two to two and a half speed, and even when you do that with a char was with this is a four hour audio book and I gave up like two hours eat. I wasn't. I was just like I'd rather than not. I Dodn't not go through this extra like hour and a half. They were awful, so I don't know how they get such a reputation in the criticism. Yeah, also bailed on a desolation called peace is, the sequel to a memory called empire, which was noble by a Katie Martina, which won the Hugo award last year or maybe the year. Yeah, you before, and that book was was decent. I tried to read the sequel, which is just come out and has been nominated for, you know, the next year, and fuck it sucks. They can books always do. It's really boring and it's like the first one had a really interesting world and we're showing all these things. This is the stair into the camera and explain all the theory book and is also to ever read. There the ancilary series. You wouldn't have science fiction series lady as a spaceship. It's not all science fiction books, ladies, as was for a while after this came out, because this book was really good and influential and then everyone tried to copy it. No one's even in doctor who. The the spaceship is a lady, like yeah, yeah, I mean we have a McCaffrey to think for that one, but I mean it's something that's been around, but it got, yeah, got reinvigorated by a book hold as Larry Justice, and so, by a lucky from two thousand and thirteen, this book is really good. So it's all about, you know, laser spaceships and this robots and it's identity and there's a war and all this crap. In the second book is all like real time diplomatic meetings. Now about tea. This is so like I could get into that. Well. So in the in the first book, there's this things that up, whether the mysterious alien race that they're fighting. They have this like material that she gets a box made out of this material. It's like the perfect stealth material. It's like completely invisible. So so it was a box that was used to like smuggle a weapon in and then she has this box. It's like what's she going to do with the box, like what's the utility of the box going to be? And then the thing she ends up using the box for is to store her tea. That's someone who really likes tea. Yeah, like I'm like, yeah, I follow and looks at me like no, a, let's give me a response. No, that's crazy, but that's just so that's the turn those books take, where you like, Ha Huh, we had this seract weapon that was impenetrable, in undetectable and were...

...using it to store the tea that we bust out in our diplomatic meetings. So, anyway, this book does that and it also has the exact same story as as that and the expanse. Well, there's the mysterious projector race from outside the universe and know, what are we going to do? And I was it was like well written and everything, but I got halfway through that was like the honer, I know how this ends. I got that need to. So that was a bit of a disappointment. But yeah, that's what I've been reading. That's what I've been reading and all of my fucking first in book. Oh yeah, well, what are you got? I mean I think you've done them like we did persuasion, which is an I roll, not my favorite. Austin. Hamlet's fun. I'm enjoying the hamlet returned, but then it's like Mansfield, it's Rendom, it's of poetry. Then, yeah, it's just like there's nothing meaty for them. They need some meat that's going to grab them. Whereas they going, why are you making a STU persuasion by Jane Austin? I'm like, no, there is a reason. To explain the reason. They're like, we're with you, but we hate it, and I'm like, I know, okay, I know, that's all I can do. Well, as a vegetarian theorist, I reject that analogy. But meet. Yeah, sorry, that's what we'd been reading. And if you want to hear about the crazy shit that happens at Stephen King's dark tower series, hang around. That'll be at the end. And that's what we've been readaging Blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so this is a bit of an experiment. Here we go and I'm not going to bother a toort. We're recording a longer thing about the the dark tower series, which I've almost finished up, about two thirds of the way through the last book. Do I go back to it? Um, we'll see. Well, I'll give you my thoughts when I've actually read it, when we actually do the proper next what you've been reading thing. Just I need to get this out of my system. All right, sorry, yeah, I'm going a bit over a book because I'm going to read you seven things, which is quite a lot of things. Seven things, and you have to tell me two of these things I'm not in the dark tower series. Me List. Okay. Well, now there's one list of seven things. Okay, two of them do not happen in the duck tower series. Okay, the other five d one hundred percent happen in the dark scowner series. Actual things that occur in these books. Now you have read, you said, the first three. Like one of these things happens in the first three books. Actually, no, it doesn't. Maybe it happens in this no one of yet. So wild right. You didn't even not even get there. Okay, the first three are very coherent. Yeah, even then, but that is so imply that the last ones are not, although I kind of prefer the latest stuff. Will Get to this when we didn't all right now, so don't tell me yes, on our just like wait till you've got them all and then we'll go back and you tell me which two might want to get you. All right. Number One, a vampire serial killer kidnaps children, taking them to an alternate America where it is always Christmas, in order to satiate a demonic car. So that's number one. Number two, the protagonist of visit the literal land of Oz where they confront the wizard, only to discover he has been replaced by Randall flag, the dark profit antagonist of Stephen King's earlier novel, the stand, who also might be Merlin. People in the L also might be more that Randall flag. That all right. Number three, and evil reality threatening ORB is placed in a storagelock of a two years beneath the World Trade Center in anticipation of the September eleven terrorist attacks, when it is destroyed by the falling towers which drive it remains deep into the earth. Show the people my face. Yeah, I've also I have attempted to order these in escalating order of ridiculous. Wow, we're only a three and because they're two of these are not real. And now we're at three. That means at least one of these things happens. introduct alice is all right. Number four, a group of bandits who have been attacking a town and stealing children for generations are revealed to be robot versions of Dr Doom who wild genuine star wars lightsabers, and they...

...are accompanied by golden snitches from Harry Potter that also shoot laser beams. They get out. That's a canonical universe. Give back. Okay. Number five, the protagonist fall in with a group of post apocalyptic survivors known as the pubes, who are at war with a rival faction over the interpretation of a Zz top song. That like Zzy two. My Dad loves them. Okay, number six. Now you said you've read the first three so you will recognize the characters. There's the Susanna, is the black lady in the WHEL chair. Yeah, right, so she's black. She's an ampute. So the black ampute Susanna is possessed by the spirit of a sucky bus, who is also impregnated her with an a rack near demon baby. And when the sucky bust takes over her mind, it causes her to grow her legs back, but they are white legs, not black ones, because the sucky bus is a white lady. And then she walks around New York battling with the succy bus in her mind, constantly growing and then lose in her legs as the alternate personalities lose and regain control. HMM, and the last one, number seven, the protagonist travel back in time to interrupt Samuel Taylor Coleridge while he is writing Kubla Khan, which is actually a secret message being transmitted to him by the ghost of an alien species who's crush landing on earth possibly caused the creation of the human race. Like, that's not one. Okay, what do you want to go through? The more you're looking, I'M gonna look. I feel like you wrote that for me. Okay, that I'll Stephen King wrote that for me. Fuck Man. Okay, it happens. Sorry, are you looking? In number seven? It does not happen in in the Dark Tel Surely? All Right, yeah, I'm looking. Okay. And then this is wild. What else? All right, so number one was a vampire serial killer who kidnaps children and takes into the Christmas land. That seems plausible. Okay. So number two was they go to the land of Oz where Randall flag is the wizard. See, that's the other one that I'm like, MMM UH Huh, there's like you could have written that. Okay. Number three was the all being destroyed by the September eleven attacks. Number four was robot Dr Dooms with lightsabers and laser beam shooting golden snitches. The fifth one was the pubes, the group called the pubes who argue over the interpretation of a ZZ tops. Well, that also could have been you. And number six was the black amputee who's that's why a sucky besson grows white. Lets very, Stephen King, right, I'm asking you. Yeah, and then number seven was Kubla Khanassy. Okay, you have got one correct. Is it is easy top one? No, the Z the pubes that worship this easy top song and are at a religious war with their arrival faction. Not only is in the dark tower, but it is in one of the three dark tower books that you have read. That's in the waist lands. Oh Really? Yeah, to be honest, I read the dark tower because I liked the boy who said they were good. Oh No, we're not pure like I've sympathize more, but the pews. No, the sorry, yes, number seven, Kubla Khan is is fake. Does Not Happen in the dark tower. It doesn't happen in the dark tower. That is the plot of the first gently novel by Douglo Douggles, was Adam. So what I did? Throw that one in there a because it's ridiculous and because of Kubla Khan but I'm glad I went with the other one, because you pick that one straight away. You want to you want to change, you want to say, Oh, this is the other one, here is also you're know that that happens in the dark tower. They they go to the literal light of ours, which is then take no, stop...

...doing all you wanted. Do you want to keep guessing? You you get it right. Is it the vampire one? It is the vampire. Wow, that perks are killer kidnaps children, taking them to an alternate America where it is always Christmas. In order to satiate a demonic car, which is a thing Stephen King has written, I think, two three different books about even will. This one therapy. This one is not from Stephen King. It is actually his son's book, even sure hills book, not s Ferato, which is felt in RS fore written. That's terrible. I don't know. Okay, this book is okay. Else for Reid skeptical. But yes, everything else I read does indeed have an in the Stephen in in the dark tower series, including the bandits that have been terrorizing the town being revealed to be verbot versions of the yeah, golden snitches what shoot laser beams? And that is the big reveal at the end of what I think is the best book in the whole series. I am flax to flomns does the word thanks for playing. That gave with me. That was fun. Thank you, Stephen Thank for putting that thanks stay. Oh, and that's what's weird in Stephen King.

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